When anyone in the Leaden Mace Society is promoted, a new member has joined, or just whenever the gnomish archivist feels like it, Miron Steelsprocket is known to give witty toasts in verse. Here they are archived for your viewing pleasure.
On the occasion of Anise Berilan's acceptance into the order of the drunken masters - Ehlon 17th, 1221 CA
Ever since Anise had joined us
Every'un has gotten the gist
A soft heart and love of spirits
's coupled with a steel-hard fist.
Whether beating undead horrors
Pulling pranks or playing cards,
Not only an inquisitor
She's mastered the martial arts.
Promotion, it didn't miss 'er
However it might be sparse
May heretics and their lackeys
Feel her boot upon their arse!
On the occasion of Thomas Lazarus' acceptance into the Leaden Mace Society - Cuthon 2nd, 1221 CA
Tall and strong and clad in armour
Not used to a lady's kiss
Who once was a Pelor's templar
Now's a part of Cuthbert's fist
Raise a glass to brother Thomas
Though he rarely says a word
This overcooked inquisitor
Owes his life to his sharp sword.
On the occasion of the Tricksters' Feast - Damarron 6th, 1221 CA
Standing idle, looking queer,
What you need is LADUGUER!
In his name we mine the ore,
Toil all day, then toil some more.
Drudgery is what we love,
Digging gold for Lolth-damn drow,
If you say that isn't fair,
's coz you don't know LADUGUER!
Head priest Gar has not much hair,
Gave it all for LADUGUER!
Knows our prayers all by heart,
When to mumble, when to fart,
Beat the lazy with his flails,
Such is the cure for all our ails,
Beatings, toil, and shitty beer,
When you live for LADUGUER!
LADUGUER will use your tip
To get Gar a spiked whip.
If your tips shall fill a stash,
His clergy will bathe and wash.
…
Bend over and give me beer,
I'm a priest of LADUGUER!
Thomas here's not just a fool,
Drinks and slays for ERYTHNUL.
Cadamon's a quiet sod,
NERULL is his chosen god.
Her smile's big and temper's small,
Anise here's a VECNA girl.
Though we serve the gods of hell,
Bring us booze, we'll pay you well!
On the occasion of Miron Segras Ironwrit Steelsprocket's birthday and leave-taking to serve in Braxton Falls - Damarron 18th, 1221 CA
Old as hell and none the wiser,
Always with his book and mace,
Today's booze's on Brother Miron,
Sworn foe of the drowish race.
On this night we ain't working,
Heretics can sleep their fill,
Quench your thirst and fill your stomach,
For it's him who foots the bill.
In two days he's off to Braxton,
Leaving Big C on its own;
He knows well that you won't miss him,
So why bother with a frown?
Only thing that makes him sullen,
Only thing that is your crime,
Is that since you all are numbskulls,
He had to write this damn rhyme.