"I picture this as the beginning of Akellon's Skynet going berserk. In the grim darkness of the future, mankind is brutally hunted down by self-aware cybernetic carts."
-Dr. Hatari, spectator
"…Please tell me I didn't just kill the gnoll."
When the current Akellon party investigated the hideout of the [[Granch Redmaw|[Redmaw]]] gang, they came across a cart near the back entrance of the cavern complex. Since there were no draft animals available to pull the cart, the party planned to push it, until it was discovered that the cart weighed less than what Sszeyl could lift. Without another word, Sszeyl lifted the cart up onto his shoulders, and with the party following, carried it back to the clearing where Terri, Papa, Barshal, and Fredrick Henderson waited.
While on the way, Derish Snowpaw made a wisecrack about it being fitting to use drow as pack animals. Sszeyl ignored this, primarily because he remembered that Fuzzy was still in the cave devouring dire rat remains. Upon remembering, he whipped around toward the cave entrance, bringing the cart with him… and catching Derish in the arc of his swing.
The DM offered Derish's player the opportunity to make a Reflex save to avoid the cart, but Derish's player decided to try an even riskier move. As Derish's Strength score was even higher than Sszeyl's, he would make a Reflex save to grab the cart mid-swing, and then a Strength check to counter the momentum and lift the drow off the ground.
Derish rolled a Reflex save to catch the cart just as Sszeyl rolled an opposed Strength check to resist being lifted off the ground.
Sszeyl rolled a natural 20.
Derish rolled a natural 1.
WHOCK.
The DM rolled damage.
The damage dealt by the cart exceeded Derish's current hit points.
The gnoll fell to the ground, unconscious.
The rest of the party members flocked around, trying to make sure that the gnoll was just unconscious and not dying. (Fortunately, this was true.) Gnogglebolt, cursing quietly in Gnoll, checked on Derish's condition. Barshal, meanwhile, asked the drow why he did that; he "thought the dwarves were joking when they said drow could not tell the difference between child's play and murder." Sszeyl, distressed, proclaimed that it was an accident. Trofim took out Beridze and started swearing a blue streak, which prompted Terri to ask if Mr. Sszeyl really was a *bleep.* (Barshal then professed that he, too, did not know what *bleep* meant.) Trofim continued a long string of curses while Gnogglebolt tried to keep people from swearing around the impressionable kid, Papa facepawed, Fredrick took out several potions, and Elros took out a few of the vials of mysterious orange liquid they had found in the dungeon.
Fortunately, Trofim managed to heal Derish back to consciousness with a cure spell before anyone could attempt to feed the gnoll a cocktail of unknown magical libations.
Derish proclaimed that Sszeyl's troubles with the crow shortly thereafter were the result of karmic justice.